Exploring the various roles that fathers fill throughout their child’s life

The role of a father in a child’s life shapes almost everything about how that child develops. It wasn’t until very recently that fatherhood started to be examined in the same way that motherhood usually is. And it wasn’t until even more recently that fatherhood started to change.

Younger generations are changing the institutions of marriage and family, which is inherently changing fatherhood too. The word family no longer necessarily implies a mother, father, and children. Today’s families are diverse. From dual-income households to single parent units, children are growing up in an ever-changing number of environments.

What doesn&rsqo;t change, though, is the importance of fatherhood in a child’s life. It used to be that fathers were the sole breadwinners of the family, emotionally unavailable and unwilling to help with household chores. Of course, that is a big generalization, but it does show how much fatherhood has changed in recent decades.

Dads today take so many forms: stay-at-home dads, single parents raising one or multiple children, a divorcee trying to make it work from afar, co-parent in a dual-income household, and the list goes on from there. Whatever form they take, it is proven that an involved father makes for a healthier child.

How fathers interact with their children will vary from family to family, but it’s undoubted that fathers fill dozens of roles throughout their children’s lives, helping them develop and adjust along the way.

What a difference a father can make

In 1987, researchers developed the three foundations of fatherhood; engagement, availability, and responsibility. Engagement is the father’s direct involvement and face-to-face contact with their children. Availability is the access the father has to the child. Responsibility includes the action the father takes to provide for the child.

Research has built on these principles since then, but the core of them remains the same; an involved father is the best father. Studies show that a child’s cognitive and behavioral development significantly improves with a father who is attentive and supportive. And it starts early.

Five-month-old infants with involved fathers have been shown to score higher on cognitive development tests than those without. That trend is proven to continue throughout childhood, leading to better problem-solving skills and higher IQs. Involved fathers also reduce the risk of children having behavioral issues later in life, such as drugs and alcohol.

Just like mothers, fathers take on a variety of roles as a parent. Here is a look at how some of those roles contribute to these beneficial outcomes.

The roles of a father

Player

The way fathers play with their children is unique. It’s usually physical and more intense than other forms of play. While it may not seem like it at the moment, this style of play is incredibly important for the child’s development.

It allows them to explore a range of emotions such as joy, frustration, and disappointment in a safe environment. More importantly, it gives them room to learn how to deal with these emotions and sort through them in a healthy way.

Father-child play also teaches children about boundaries. They can test what is acceptable and fun with someone who can enforce rules and standards.

Motivator

Fathers want their children to be the best versions of themselves that they can be. They tend to push their children to try new things and persevere through challenges. The motivation comes from sharing their own experiences, experiencing failures together with their children, and celebrating successes.

Many people probably remember a time in their childhood when they tried to quit an activity they no longer found interesting, but their dad pushed them to see it through to the end. This type of motivation isn’t done to make the child miserable. It’s meant to teach commitment and follow-through over selfishness.

Teacher

For whatever reason, dads just seem to know stuff. Whether it’s tying a shoe, changing a tire, or taking someone on a date, fathers have so much knowledge to share with their children from infancy to adulthood. Being involved means fathers have the time to pass this wisdom onto their children and help them learn from past mistakes.

Fathers are also there to challenge their children and provide a steady benchmark with which to compare themselves. Children will have dozens of other influences throughout their lives from teachers to friends and family members. It’s important that fathers stay on top of their child’s mindset so they can encourage healthy behavior and work through things that need to be improved.

Relationship guru

What fathers teach and exemplify in childhood will have lasting effects on that child’s relationships later in life. We’ve all heard the old adage that girls marry men similar to their fathers. There is some truth to that.

Fathers are the first example of a man that a girl encounters, and a constant one that she witnesses throughout her childhood. Girls are more likely to seek out familiar behavior in a partner, which means that if the father was kind and supportive, her partner will likely be the same way. Rather than seeking similar behavior in others, boys will try to emulate their father’s behavior themselves.

Children also look to their parents’ romantic relationships as examples of how to act toward others, whether it’s with each other, stepparents, or new partners. If the relationship is positive and healthy, children will bring those attributes into their own relationships. If the relationship is not, children may assume their relationships will follow suit.

Fatherhood is changing

Fathers are instrumental to the success and well-being of their children. Great fatherhood comes in many forms, but at its core is involvement. And being involved isn’t just for the benefit of the children. Fathers who are engaged in their child’s upbringing feel happier, more confident, and more accomplished.

The roles a father fulfills will change as their children get older. Motivation and teaching become more important than playing as the years go by. But no matter how old your children are, don’t stop being there for them. They need you more than you know and more than they may ever say because fathers make a difference.

The mission of CDR’s Fatherhood program is to empower dads to reach their goals and to be the best parents they can be. Check out our website for free workshops and classes that help fathers with communication, relationships, careers, financial advice, and parenting.